A Break ...

I shall take a break from acids, common markets, QUAAADRATIC inequalities, REEVVIEWS - not an ADVERTISEMENT -, 高级华文与文化, Newton, Demographic Transition Models and Igbo society ... only to indulge in philosophical arguements.

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So I guess it's pretty clear cut now. Non-dualism is the key to the age-old conflict between scientists and humanitarians (which includes religious people). Distinct but not separate. End of discussion.

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Having the academic mood right now, let me show an academic joke from the Net (just for fun):

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Here's how you should read science lingo:

1) "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN" ... I didn't look up the original reference.

2) "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT" ... This data is practically meaningless.

3) "WHILE IS HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS" ... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

4) "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" ... The other results didn't make any sense.

5) "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN" ...This is the prettiest graph.

6) "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT" ... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

7) "IN MY EXPERIENCE" ... Once.

8) "IN CASE AFTER CASE" ... Twice.

9) "IN A SERIES OF CASES" ... Thrice.

10) "IT IS BELIEVED THAT" ... I think.

11) "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT" ... A couple of other guys think so too.

12) "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong.

13) "ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS" ... Rumour has it.

14) "A STATISTICALLY ORIENTATED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS" ... A wild guess.

15) "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF THE OBTAINABLE DATA" ... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

16) "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENA OCCURS" ... I don't understand it.

17) "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES" ... They don't understand it either.

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ... Mr. Boltz did the work and Ms. Schaeffer explained to me what it meant.

18) "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY" ... A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

19) "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD" ... I quit!

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This is hilarious. Hahahahaha.

A little thing about life

The world is perfect.

Well ... maybe not.

But who cares;

Get on with your life.

国立-德明脉搏指南媒体讲座

Went to this talk about the mass media today. And it's 收益无穷！1 professor, 1 newscaster, 1 enthusiastic teacher and 1 specialist in political news make up the lecture. There were 4 lectures; the 1st one was sneak-peaky and humorous, the 2nd one controversial, the 3rd one revealed some shocking evidences of teenagers' choice of media and the 4th one was a course on the subject of Pure Chimology conducted by a European professor (presumably) with high proficiency in Chinese and China Studies. o.o

And when it's QnA session a Hwa Chong JC guy (I think) raised so many sensitive topics, about 媒体的问题、教育制度的问题、早报名字的来历（LOL）…… so stunned. But the lecturers answered it in a 大事化小小事化无-kind-of method. Then Samuel and I were having a decent conversation on media in China. Haven't had such a talk in AGES. Seriously!

Furthermore I found out Samuel knows this teacher who knows Faith Goh! o.o Amazing how all the people around you know each other. It's like totally random connections. Who knows, maybe Alhagie is related to my neighbour in some weird, distant way ...

Response to Conspiracy Theory

I know it. Don't hide it any longer. Everyone is conspiring against me. Took 15 years to realise this; how dumb can I be?

Putting me through all the challenges, all the setbacks ... for what? To laugh at the embarassing moments?

I know everyone is in it - from my class to the websites to the entire world. It's a show. Hypocritical.

The websites - it's all flooded with evidence. From news like indices rising and falling to movie advertisements. It's all part of an elaborate plot to manipulate my emotions and control what I do. And all of you are in it. Every. Single. One.

All of you are really experts in acting. I applaud that. You should all just join some drama company instead of wasting your time on my show. So much so that you've all deceived me for 15 years.

The things in my life - it's all orchestrated. Cars of different colours go by as I sit in the bus to change my mood. Some detour and then come back again and again for repetition --- for boredom. I will wonder why they did that and ask someone I know beside me. That person would just shrug it off and change the subject. Why? Because he is part of the conspiracy. Everyone is.

But it's fake. Everything. Even the world map. I have no guarantee that it is true. For all I know, Earth might just as well be a flat, indefinite landscape where you never fall off the edge when you walk too far. You lied to me that the Earth is spherical. It is in fact not.

But don't stop this game. I know I can take it.

***

The above is in no way meant to represent my, or in fact, anyone's social life. Period. It is purely a satire on people who believe in a global conspiracy.

Things

I failed NAPFA =(. Got 9 points and 2 Fs. If it hadn't been for the first criteria I would have gotten at least a bronze. STANDARD pull-up: fail by 1. Standing broad jump enemy since time immemorial: fail by 38cm. Why does my brithday have to be so early? Especially almost JUST BEFORE the NAPFA ... Arghh ...

Getting worried. Have to learn proper broad jump technique already ... if not HOW AM I GOING TO PASS FUTURE BMT?! I imagine myself re-taking it again and again until it becomes something like a Gulag camp. Where my will to survive would be extremely strong. Maybe that will boost me. Who knows.

Speaking of BMT here are some rumours I've heard about NS (correct me if I'm wrong, or if you have a different version of it) -

1. Most famous one: No training on Thursdays at Pulau Tekong.
2. Flags / Colours / Crests are blessed by priests from the 4 major religions for good luck. Berets are especially carried at night to ward off evil (since berets have crests on them).
3. Never pee by a tree in a forest.
4. NSMen have to go to a Bruneian (apologies if I spelt incorrectly) ridge that is extremely narrow. They have to run on this long, narrow strip. If you lose your balance and fall, then it's the end.
5. In BMT, recruits have to jump off a 6-storey building (with safety precautions and a bean-bag like cushion below). Some recruits get so scared they wet their pants. Others scream when they jump.
6. At one point in time, recruits will be asked to go to Choa Chu Kang cemetery near midnight. They would be fetched there in a lorry, drop recruits off at different random points and they are to find their way out, given only a torchlight. (Actually I think this is quite thrilling)
7. NSMen are addicted to horror stories. (Reason could be that it never does you harm to know more ... defense is of essence)

(disclaimer: these are based on what I've heard. I don't know how true they are. Believe at your own risk.)

When will I know? When I turn 18.

Speaking of 18, I shall continue my SATIRE：

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四月十一日

啊！夏绿蒂！我有这么多事评述，NAPFA不及格。想当初妳打钢琴，我读稿，气氛多浪漫……如今……缺全归于空。空虚，为何物？晚宴之夜只不过是个过去的事。哎……

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Don't worry. Of course I'm not being emo about the fact that I fail NAPFA. Just try my best next year! I'm an optimist after all ... =)))

新书……

好久没post了。TXY迎新会晚会蛮有趣的，可没想到面示的人竟是营长！O。O前天刚去‘开会’—写作、投稿的开会。有趣；可能6月假期会写给酷版，要先注意注意潮流，先了解港台‘局势’。若真的登报，是一整版！O。O有空再说……

最近受了情绪潮流影响，所以……

四月七日

我来到学校，清风吻过面孔，感觉自在。然而，那倩影又出现了。走着走着，仿佛随风飘浮，走进课室……风过，叶子残落，

Think I had better stop it. It's getting nowhere. There's some broken grammar inside too. It's a satire, in case you get carried away by it. I'm not mocking the original writer, my subject of mocking is left for anyone who reads this to ponder. That's the role of literature, isn't it? Maybe I should write future posts in this way.